Sunday, May 12, 2013

New College Nottingham offering degree in heavy metal

(From BBC News)

It appears that a college in England is offering a two-year degree in heavy metal. When it comes to wasting your money on useless shit, this is almost as bad as getting a degree in gender studies. I agree with the Campaign for Real Education when they say this degree is a waste of time and would "lack weight" with real employers. No employer's gonna care if you know the history of heavy metal as well as the back of your hand. Of course, the college is defending the degree by saying it is "rigorous and is being offered in response to student demand." Who are these people? Who is demanding this? Who is willing to waste their time and money on something like this?

The college also said this:

Students will learn how to compose and perform heavy metal songs.

The course, which is due to start in September, will also include modules on the music business, the history of heavy metal and its role in films and video games.

In the students' second year, they will perform on tour at venues around the country.

Have you ever considered that some people aren't cut out for making music? I tried to write metal lyrics in the past, and let me tell you, they sucked. Hard. I have a feeling the only thing that's going to result from this is a bunch of shitty music. Sure, there might be a tiny few people in this class who will be able to make good music, but the shit will outweigh the gold.

"It's a degree, so it will be academically rigorous," said Mr Maloy.

I cannot adequately put into words just how asinine this statement is, so here's a GIF of a fat man laughing his ass off. 

"In the past, heavy metal has not been taken seriously and is seen as lacking academic credibility when compared with other genres such as jazz and classical music. But that's just a cultural construction."

The reason why metal is not taken seriously by the mainstream is because it deliberately defies the mainstream. Metal is born to terrify authority figures from your parents to the government. The musical structures are designed to be mentally engaging. The subject matter is meant to challenge your most deeply-held notions. There's a reason why an overwhelming majority of death metal and black metal bands remain underground.

I'm not alone when I say that this degree is a waste of time and money. Chris McGovern, chairman of the Campaign for Real Education said, "There are too many degrees being offered that lack credibility in the marketplace." I can name a few: English, Psychology, Fine Arts, Drama, Philosophy (especially philosophy), Liberal Arts, and many, many more.

Chris McGovern goes further:

"I suspect that may be the case with this course, unless you want to be a heavy metal star, in which case why would you need a degree in the subject?"

If you're truly motivated to succeed, you don't need college. Lots of people ended up becoming successful, and none of them went to college. In fact, Bill Gates is a college dropout.

"It might seem an attractive, easy option to some people. But you don't need to do a degree in heavy metal. It's a waste of time."

Amen. There's on final thing the article forgot to mention: this is the age of the internet. You can get an ivy league education for basically nothing. I have a feeling this class is designed for people who are too lazy to study metal on their own and/or are too stupid to know how to use Google.
Share on Tumblr

1 comment:

  1. I took a "History of Rock" class last semester. Pretty easy, but not quite a "fluff" course. But this... this is ridiculous.